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Thoughts on judging others

I see myself in others, and I discover others in myself. Therefore, casting judgement upon anyone becomes pointless and almost impossible. They are like me, and I’m like them. The most virtous and the villain, both, I’m them, and they are me. The hero, the hell-bound, and the indifferent – how can I speak of them as “others”? Whenever I look closely, there I am. And if you look closely at me, here you are.

It’s strange, people often think I’m judging them, condescending even. They don’t know that’s impossible for me. As I understand myself, I understand them. Perhaps it is they who consider themselves, in all secret, above me. So much so that they are offended when I force them to stand as my equals. It’s possible. They are just like me, and they don’t like it.

My flaws fascinate me. They are glitches, I suppose, in a system which if it was working flawlessly would leave me little more than a robot. If there can be freedom, imperfections must be allowed. So I readily admit my errors, and I seek them all day. Some say I overthink, or some may say I’m too hard on my self, but is through these errors that I will find my essence.

These imperfections, I also see them in others too. Sometimes I will see something disagreeable in someone, and then soon after find it in myself. It always fascinates me. It’s a moment of growth. It’s silent. There is a sense of foolishness in the air, and there is wisdom, both dancing with each other. How could I have been tricked into thinking “That is not me”? It is me, of course it is me. Everywhere I look, there I am!

But people get angry, should I share with them what I see. “Who are you to judge me, are you perfect?” Such a strange question. Who would I be to judge anyone, even if I was perfect? It’s not about anything perfect. It’s all about everything imperfect. It’s where we exist. The imperfect is the very substance of life. Here there is growth and opportunity, and room.  Why do people then hide their imperfections?

In all abstract conversation, everyone will say “Oh, I am not perfect.” Yet, should anything specific be pointed out, then there is trouble. We like being imperfect in theory, it’s just false modesty.

I never ask anyone to look inside themselves for something I haven’t got right here.  If I tell someone that they are mistaken, it’s because I know the mistake, and I know it as my own mistake.

If you think you are better than anyone, look closely, and you might see yourself. Then no judgement can happen. What happens instead will be mistaken again and again for judgement, but is not, it is more like recognition.

We all think we’re better than someone. So go find that someone, and look closely, and see if you can’t see yourself in them. I have done it many, many times, and I will do so many more times.

Nadeem J. Qureshi